Tech talk

Google rolled out a massive algorithm update in 2011, commonly referred to as the "Panda"

Unofficially referred to as The Panda Update, Google’s algorithm update that targeted “thin content farming sites” initially rolled out on February 24, 2011, and affected US sites only.

“Many of the changes we make are so subtle that very few people notice them. But in the last day or so we launched a pretty big algorithmic improvement to our ranking—a change that noticeably impacts 11.8% of our queries—and we wanted to let people know what’s going on. This update is designed to reduce rankings for low-quality sites—sites which are low-value add for users, copy content from other websites or sites that are just not very useful. At the same time, it will provide better rankings for high-quality sites—sites with original content and information such as research, in-depth reports, thoughtful analysis and so on.” -Official Google Blog

Depending on whether or not you've been directly affected by Google's "Panda" update, this comic may be either extremely funny... or extremely ironic.

Here in Canada, we knew the time would come when Google’s mighty “Panda” would inevitably cross the border and bitch-slap us up north.

Well, the day has finally arrived… Google’s Panda algorithm update has officially landed in Canada.

“Over a month ago we introduced an algorithmic improvement designed to help people find more high-quality sites in search. Since then we’ve gotten a lot of positive responses about the change: searchers are finding better results, and many great publishers are getting more traffic.

Today we’ve rolled out this improvement globally to all English-language Google users.” -Official Google Blog

And you know what I think about all of this? Four words: I blame Stephen Harper.*

Google's "Panda" algorithm update arrives in Canada... and guess what? I blame Stephen Harper.*

If you’ll recall, I had reported back in November 2010 that Canada was in talks with China to bring over 2 giant pandas.

In this Macleans article from the same time period, it’s pretty much confirmed that Harper was the sole person responsible for persuading China to “rent out a pair of giant pandas for extended stays at zoos in Ontario, Alberta and Quebec.” How did he do it, you ask? Well, as Macleans journalist Scott Feschuk puts it… simply by “kissing ass.”

So there you have it. I know Google’s “Panda” refers to the nickname of a Google engineer… as opposed to the fuzzy-wuzzy black and white pseudo-bears that Harper wants to bring into Canada on rent from China. Nevertheless, I’m going to state it here first and officially make the connection between the two!

So there you have it. According to my twisted logic, Stephen Harper is responsible for bringing Google’s Panda algorithm update to Canada. Blast him!!!

*Note: OK, obviously this blog post was written as a joke, and isn’t meant to be taken seriously. Please don’t read into it literally! Much thanks.